I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just crazy horny about you
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
