wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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