the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
