So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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