walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize