Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
