Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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