Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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