but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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