the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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