Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
