I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
