Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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