I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
