She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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