I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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