This girl is more easily done than said...
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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