Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
