Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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