I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
