In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
