Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
nutella sex= disaster
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
