Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
