All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I forget how to act sober
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
