Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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