have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
