i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize