is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
