And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
