Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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