I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
