Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
