I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
