you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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