I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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