You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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