it wasn't lemon gatorade
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
