last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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