how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
