Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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