No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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