margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
