You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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