Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
