If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
