you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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