your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I am naked and annoyed.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
