I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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