yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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