the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
