a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
