using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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