Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
