Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
