Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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