i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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