I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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