Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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