i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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